My experience in faith: How I’m Radiating My Inner Buddha Nature

by Anisha Bonsor

I was 28 when anxiety and panic attacks took over my life. It was a strange and unnerving feeling like I had never experienced. Everyone around me was at the peak of their careers and zooming ahead in life. Not me. I was a nervous wreck, experiencing massive anxiety attacks and health issues, and blaming my environment and the people around me for everything wrong in my life.

I remember how, back then, going to work each day was an arduous task because I was constantly worried about anxiety attacks happening at work and my colleagues judging me. My worsening physical health cascaded across all aspects of my life – my relationships with my husband, in-laws, and work colleagues. Basically, I had lost my spunk. I had no direction on what I wanted to do in my career, doubting my own capabilities and trudging along each day with zero motivation. I just believed everything was wrong in my life. I couldn’t see anything good in what I had. What was wrong with me? Why me? Why can’t I be successful? Why am I feeling so sick? These were the questions I surrounded myself with day in and day out.

At that point in my life, I was at the lowest. The feeling was debilitating for someone who was so active and energetic and loved to live life to the fullest. But in 2012, on a plane journey back home, a chance encounter with an old friend led me to the practice of Buddhism and the concept of human revolution. My friend told me about Soka Gakkai International, the world's largest Buddhist lay organization, with almost twelve million practitioners in one hundred ninety-two countries and territories. This was the day my journey in faith started.

After meeting with my friend, I was introduced to members practicing this faith in my area and chanting the mantra “Nam-myoho-renge-kyo,” which is the essence of Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism. It is a vow, an expression of determination, to embrace and manifest our Buddha nature. It’s a pledge to oneself to never yield to difficulties and to win over one’s suffering. At the same time, it is a vow to help others reveal this law in their own lives and achieve happiness.

Learn how to pronounce and chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo by following this link

I took to the practice like a fish to water and realized that it was not my circumstances that had to change, it was me. The next few months, I started chanting religiously, meeting members, and encouraging them to talk about their problems. I decided to become the captain of my ship and steer it through the rough waters. The basics of this practice inspired me to change my life – recognizing that all life has dignity with infinite inherent potential; “Buddhahood” exists in every person and can be awakened through Buddhist practice.

To chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is to bring forth the pure and fundamental energy of life, honoring the dignity and possibility of our ordinary lives.

I was inspired each day by the teachings of the mystic law, the experiences of members worldwide, and the profound guidance of Daisaku Ikeda (Sensei), the founding president of Soka Gakkai International (SGI).

One of Sensei’s lessons that really motivates me is

"When our determination changes, everything will begin to move in the direction we desire. The moment we resolve to be victorious, every nerve and fiber in our being will immediately orient itself toward our success. On the other hand, if we think, 'This is never going to work out,' then at that instant, every cell in our being will be deflated and give up the fight."

Although I had my primary faith that I also practiced on the side, Buddhism became a way of life for me. I could relate more to this practical philosophy which started with ME and not praying to an outside force.

The number of positive changes that happened in my life are innumerable. When I decided to take control of how I felt internally, the world around me changed, my health improved, I quit my corporate job to start my own passion in branding consultancy, and I became so much more confident to handle the uncertainties in life. I became that happy person who brings cheer to everyone in the room regardless of my circumstances. I brought positivity and calmness inside and out to the world.

Anisha has been living in Singapore with her family since 2015

For 10 years I’ve been doing this practice and chanting twice a day – in the morning for setting my determinations and in the evening to give gratitude for all that I have achieved. It has become an inherent part of my daily schedule. I am a happier, content, and peaceful person. There are bad days, of course, but I can snap out of it faster than I used to. The community of members across India and Singapore is a support system I can bank on anytime.

"I am constantly polishing my inner self to radiate my inherent Buddha nature and hoping to inspire people with my experience, just as my friend did for me many years back." - Anisha Bonsor

The biggest victory that you get through this practice is winning over yourself – over your insecurities and fears – living each day with renewed hope, having extreme compassion for others, and feeling gratitude for what you have. And I am so glad that I found this anchor early in my life. I’m hoping to pass this on to my daughters so that they can live life to the fullest and be the best version of themselves each day.